sansthelight

2014 the year of “one step back”

In education, money, philosophy, ramblings on January 1, 2015 at 1:04 am

I would be remiss if while listing the things and people I’ve lost in 2014 (see: Ding Dong the Year is Dead) I didn’t mention that I lost 30 pounds as well.  There was some good in the year.  I’ve also just sold my car.  It was a 2009 Scion Xb that I purchased new.  I really liked that car.  It was the first and only car I’ve ever purchased new.  With all of my financial issues though, I needed to sell it.  I had been trying off and on all year, but it didn’t sell until yesterday.  I will miss my Scion.  However, being able to sit down at the computer and get caught up on all the bills that matter was a huge relief.  That combined with a small amount of financial aid, some VA benefits for college (that I didn’t think I qualified for, but some how actually do), and moving to a different department at work which will provide for more consistent hours (still part time though) should allow me to keep up with everything.

It is amazing to me how the stress of financial difficulties affects me.  I feel so much better today as I sit down at the computer and am able to pay each bill.  I don’t have to juggle which ones I will pay or try to figure out the absolute minimum I need to send them to keep them off my back a few more days.  I don’t have to be scared of the phone ringing.  I sat down and went through the huge pile of paperwork that had been accumulating on my desk.  I paid my bills, organized some receipts and account information, and shredded all the stuff I didn’t need when I was done.

Make no mistake, 2014 was a terrible year for me.  However, without difficulties our lives don’t change and often don’t improve.  We get complacent and lazy and rest on our laurels.  When life gets hard it forces us to to improvise and take a hard look at what we need, what we want to accomplish, and what we can walk away from.  It isn’t easy.  Those difficulties can seem insurmountable.  But sometimes we have to take that step backwards before we can take those two crucial steps forward.  I believe that I am posed to start moving forward again in 2015 and my wish is that all of you will be stepping ahead with me.

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